Almost there..."Lord give me strength"!

Almost there..."Lord give me strength"!

October 14th 2010

Well I have received clearance for surgery...Whoo Hoo!! I have had to keep pushing the surgical staff for results, appointments,and information, but I have it...My Surgery date is October 26th 2010. They did see a few issues in all that rigorous testing...I am a borderline diabetic,I have high cholesterol, and I have sleep apnea. My cardiologist thinks that the diabetes and high cholesterol will go away as I loose weight. However the sleep apnea is a serious case and needed to be treated with a Bi Pap machine. Now this machine is a royal pain in my butt and is difficult to use but, I love it!!! I haven't slept this good in years. This was a surprise along the road to complete health. I am reminded of a scripture that in essence sums up this time of trial and testing. " It seems it was good for me to go through all those troubles.Throughout them all you held tight to my lifeline. You never let me tumble over the edge unto nothing". (Isaiah 38:16)

This week has been week one of two weeks of a pre operation liquid diet that is mandatory prior to surgery. I have found it extremely hard to stick to this lovely liquid diet.The diet consists of 3 protein/slim fast shakes a day and clear liquid in between shakes. If you look through my eyes you will see my frustration. I usually consume 3000 to 4ooo calories a day as a morbidly obese American. The pre operation diet has me planned to live on less than 600 calories a day.I am starving!!! I would say that out of the 6 days that have passed I have been successful 3 days. The other days I have found myself sneaking mini meals and snaking...its been so hard! Espesually that our dear friend and fellow foodie Nanette has been visiting this week. AHHHH!!!

I realize now more than ever that I am a food addict. I have had cravings like you wouldn't believe and for things I really don't even like. I see now that when things in my life are even keel that I handle food correctly and when there crazy and out of control ,so is my eating. These are great realisations to come to now right? lol It is such a mental demon to fight and it hasn't been easy. But as Tammy Faye Messner says"A person may fall many times,But he isn't a failure until he blames somebody or someone else". I am truley going to give these next 9 days my all and pray that my mind can control my cravings....lol. God give me strength. This comes to mind."I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."(Philippians 4:13)

(For those who are going through this as well I have found that the cappuccino Slim fast shakes are the best,that Muscle Milk light vanilla is great and that sugar free Popsicles and jello cups are the best snacks,Vegetable broth is by favorite broth while Crystal Light has a multitude of fabulous flavors to keep you interested just a tid bit of information for ya.)